Snuff It #1

This Old Cervix

Sister Catherine

God deliver us from lawyers. Despite the election of a president who actually admits to being pro-choice, the legal battles continue, and in many states, a woman's right to obtain an abortion has become more theoretical than practical. The Webster decision allowed Roe versus Wade to stand, but gave most of the tactical aspects of the matter back to the states. Many of the states, anticipating the outcome, immediately enacted legislation requiring waiting periods, parental notification, and exposure to absurd propaganda. The irony of all this is that the people most likely to be affected are teenagers, who are also the most likely to need abortions.

Meanwhile, the United States maintains the highest teenage pregnancy rate of any industrial nation, despite our world-famous "family values." Even the restoration of Roe versus Wade to its former glory would be only a first step towards reforming abortion laws, practices, and attitudes. It has become politically correct to be "pro-choice", but the very euphemism itself reveals deep misgivings within the people who call themselves pro-choice. The Church of Euthanasia is not pro-choice. The Church of Euthanasia is pro-abortion.

Adults as well as teenagers have proven themselves irresponsible when it comes to birth control. Women and men (in particular) tend to lose the capability for rational thought when involved in sexual acts, too often producing unwanted children. If people are unwilling or incapable of sexually responsible behavior before or during the act, then it becomes the responsibility of society to provide treatment after the act. The time has come for abortion to be encouraged as birth control.

With the advent of the abortion pill, women can finally take matters into their own hands. Dilation and suction are crude and obsolete. RU-486 is the new frontier for abortion, and I wish it had been available when I had mine. Abortion should be easy, legal and free.

Where are all those fetuses going, anyway? Judging by the number of pro-life lunatics that manage to get hold of them, too many are winding up in dumpsters. How typically American! Let's recycle those fetuses, by combining two of the pillars of the church. Fetus pate, anyone?

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